


the slow and steady rush

by cookiemonsta



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Fluff, M/M, Romance Novel, Texans Being Texans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 16:26:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3984892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookiemonsta/pseuds/cookiemonsta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen spends his days on the family ranch, bitter and lonely after his stint in the air force. When friendly stranger Jared arrives as the new ranch hand, can Jensen learn to move past his brooding nature and let Jared in? And more importantly, what secret is Jared hiding that could ruin Jensen's family forever?</p>
            </blockquote>





	the slow and steady rush

**Author's Note:**

> Written about a bajillion years ago for [spn_meanttobe](http://spn-meanttobe.livejournal.com/) with the below prompt:
> 
> _Brady Randell has always been a rebel. Even now, injured out of the air force, he's a dark presence on the Randell ranch. But enter lovely Lindsey Stafford, and a glint appears in the headstrong pilot's eye. Despite her innocence, Lindsey takes Brady's brooding nature in her stride. But her arrival has rocked the Randell family to the core. She has secrets that could destroy them. Now it's up to Brady to fight once more. Not for his country this time, but for the woman who's found a place in his heart._
> 
> Soundtrack can be found [here](http://cookiemonsta.livejournal.com/113066.html) if you're interested.

It's times like this when Jensen can forget the circumstances that brought him here.

The sun is a faint amber glow, barely visible on the horizon, and it paints the world in shades of ruby and gold. Even at this early hour, Jensen can feel the chill of the night seep away as the sun peeks into view, scattering light and warmth across the ranch. It's peaceful. 

Leaning away from the porch rail, Jensen scratches a hand over the two-day stubble that darkens his jaw and takes one last look at the sunrise, soaking it in. There's been months of sunrises since the accident, but somehow the memory of that moment is still fresh in his mind –– the way the plane had tilted in the air, those panicked seconds in between realising he was going to crash and pummeling the eject button, the sound of his F-16 plummeting into the desert sand –– it's all there in his head, and a part of Jensen knows that it always will be. 

If nothing else, his right hand is a constant, glaring reminder of that day. 

Glancing down, Jensen studies the way his pinky, ring and middle fingers curl into his palm, the irregular curve of the digits, and swallows against the bitterness churning in his stomach. His damaged hand is the price he had to pay to survive, and although Jensen aches at the loss of its use, a logical part of him knows that he's lucky to be alive.

Forcing his mind away from thoughts of twisted metal and blood and pain, Jensen squints against the growing light that fills the sky. The sun has almost risen now, and its light reaches across the acres of land spread out before Jensen's eyes. It’s his father’s land, and ever since his accident, Jensen’s called it home. 

“Penny for your thoughts,” a voice says into the silence, and Jensen only has a moment of shock before a familiar, calloused hand drops onto his shoulder.

“Mornin’,” Jensen says, eyes still fixed on the horizon.

Alan Ackles turns to face his son, a knowing smile on his face as he studies the frown that creases Jensen’s brow. 

“Deep thoughts?”

“Nothin’ I can’t handle,” Jensen offers.

His father is silent for a moment and a heavy, meaningful pause stretches out between them. The only sound is the faint whinnies of the horses and the whisper of a breeze through the trees. 

“The new ranch hand’s comin' today,” Alan says finally.

“I don’t need any help,” Jensen shoots back. 

Alan laughs –– a soft, warm sound that hangs in the air. “Believe it or not, this isn’t about you, Jensen. I hired some help because, shocking as this might sound, the work ain’t gettin' any easier, and I sure as heck ain’t gettin' any younger.”

“You kiddin’ me?” Jensen scoffs, “You’re gonna outlive us all, old man.”

“We’ll see kiddo,” Alan says fondly, “we’ll see.”

Jensen gives Alan a wry smile as he takes in his father’s face, drenched in golden sunlight. He’s never really thought of his father as old, but as Jensen studies the wrinkles that crease his father’s face he’s struck by a sudden and painful realisation: one day the ranch will be his to look after. The thought aches in his chest.

“He’ll be here in about half an hour,” Alan says suddenly, and Jensen gives him a puzzled look.

“The new ranch hand,” Alan supplies, and renewed resentment builds in Jensen’s stomach. 

“Still don’t need any help,” Jensen mutters, and Alan ruffles his hair playfully.

“Wasn’t even a question of that, kiddo.”

And with that, Alan heads back inside, leaving Jensen alone with his thoughts.

\+ + +

True to his father’s word, about half an hour later Jensen hears a truck making its way up the dusty track that leads to the main house.

Jensen would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious, but the fact of the matter is, he’s not a cripple. He doesn’t need some guy to help him do what he’s been doing just _fine_ by himself. 

The truck’s engine cuts off, and Jensen watches, transfixed, as a tall figure unfolds from behind the drivers seat. The guy is tall and lean, with a mop of dark brown hair that creeps out from underneath his hat. With surprising grace, the stranger makes his way to the porch steps in five long strides –– there's an ease to the way he holds himself, Jensen notices, an assuredness that has nothing to do with ego –– and despite himself, Jensen feels a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. 

As he approaches the porch steps, the dark haired stranger removes his hat and meets Jensen's curious glance head on, something like a challenge in his eyes. His face is kind and open, with just a hint of mischief dancing in his hazel eyes. Jensen clears his throat and looks away, embarrassed to be caught staring, and the stranger huffs a little laugh, bright and unmistakably cheerful. 

“Well hey there,” he says, and his voice is everything Jensen knew it would be: smooth and rich like molasses. “I'm Jared.”

Jensen forces himself to meet the guy’s –– Jared’s –– gaze, even if he’d rather not. “Jensen,” he says, by way of introduction. “You handled horses before?” His voice is all business, hard edged and demanding –– it’s an interrogation, and Jared knows it –– but that doesn’t stop another infuriating smile from blossoming onto his face as Jensen levels an intimidating stare at him. 

“This ain’t my first rodeo,” Jared shoots back, making his way up the steps and into Jensen’s personal space. Jared’s somehow taller up close, and a part of Jensen really doesn’t mind. _At all._ There’s a retort on Jensen’s tongue, something about Jared and sasquatches, but it dies in his throat when he hears the front door swing open and the soft thuds of his father’s footfalls.

“You must be Jared,” Alan says, smiling warmly as he claps a hand onto Jared’s shoulder. “I’m Alan, this here’s Jensen and the rest of the gang are inside having breakfast. You eaten yet, Jared?”

“Nice to meet you Alan,” Jared says, “And, no –– I haven’t, but I don’t wanna put you out or nothin’, so –– ” 

“It’s no trouble,” Alan counters, offering Jared a reassuring smile. Glancing quickly at Jensen for approval, Jared lets Alan steer him inside.

\+ + +

The smell from the kitchen is mouth-watering, and the sight that meets Jared’s eyes is just as tempting. There’s a large plate of scrambled eggs sitting beside the stove-top, another beside it piled high with bacon, and a kind faced woman is flipping pancakes over a heavy iron frypan.

“Hey y’all,” Alan says, and Jared feels four pairs of eyes land on him, “this here’s Jared.” 

With his arm still slung over Jared’s shoulder, Alan points out all the members of his family. 

“That there’s Josh –– he’s our big shot horse trainer, the one who breaks the horses and get’s ‘em ready for competition.” Josh gives Jared a tired but equally good-natured smile, and goes back to his plate of bacon and eggs. 

“That’s Mackenzie,” Alan says, pointing to a young woman with hair the exact same shade as Jensen’s, “but everyone calls her Mac. She helps with breedin’ and deliverin’ the foals.” Mackenzie smiles at Jared, her hazel eyes sweeping over Jared’s tall frame before she meets his gaze and says, “Hey, Jared.”

Removing his arm from Jared’s shoulder, Alan moves towards the woman by the stovetop. Encircling her waist and pressing a kiss to her hair, he introduces her, saying, “This here’s my Donna.” 

Jared inclines his head. “Nice to meet you ma’am,” he says, and fixes her with his best smile. Donna returns it a moment later, rocking gently in Alan’s embrace as she slides the last pancake onto a plate.

“You hungry, Jared?” she says, a friendly smile on her face.

“Starvin’,” Jared answers, grinning sheepishly from under his bangs. 

Donna laughs, a cheerful sound that hangs in the air like wind chimes. Alan moves beside Jared again, and then he’s pointing towards Jensen, a knowing smile on his face. 

“Now, you’ve already met Jensen,” he says, “but there’s one thing you should know.” 

Jensen meanwhile, helps himself to pancakes, even as he feels Jared’s heated gaze on the back of his neck. Here it comes, the moment where they tell Jared that he’s an ex-air force cripple. It’s the same spiel he’s heard before, but as Jensen prepares himself for the blow, it never comes. 

“He’s real cranky, even at the best of times,” Alan continues, a note of mischief in his voice, and Jensen whips his head around to glare at his father. 

“But we love him just the same,” Donna finishes, squeezing Jensen against her shoulder. Blushing under the attention, and fiercely aware of Jared’s presence, Jensen gently extracts himself from his mother’s grip.

“Yeah, me and Jensen go way back,” Jared laughs, searching out Jensen’s eyes. The look he finds there is part annoyance and part intrigue –– it makes something swoop violently in Jared’s stomach –– but before he can recover himself, Donna is shepherding him towards a sturdy wooden chair and sliding a plate of bacon and eggs onto the table in front of him.

\+ + +

Stomach full to bursting, Jared leaves the kitchen and follows Jensen towards the stables.

Once inside, Jared watches, fascinated, as Jensen heads straight for a large golden bay horse at the far end of the stables. About sixteen hands high, with clear eyes and a shiny coat, the stallion shows no sign of fear as Jensen approaches. If anything, it moves closer, pushing its muzzle against Jensen’s outstretched palm. 

From this distance, Jared can’t make out the words Jensen says to it, but there’s a kinship there, Jared knows there is –– it’s a special bond that he doesn’t want to interfere with. As if remembering Jared’s presence, Jensen steps back and turns to face Jared. 

“Come here.”

As he makes his way to Jensen, Jared casts his eyes around the stable, taking in the familiar smell of sawdust and leather. There are stirrups hanging from a nail on the far wall, and a cork noticeboard with scribbled notes tacked onto it. He reaches Jensen a moment later, noticing for the first time the way freckles are scattered across Jensen’s nose and cheeks. 

“Took you long enough,” Jensen murmurs, and Jared huffs a laugh, running a hand through his hair. 

“So, who’s this?” Jared asks, nodding towards the horse in front of Jensen.

“Whiskey,” Jensen says, something like pride in his voice. It’s sweet, Jared thinks. 

Carefully, Jared moves towards Whiskey and stretches out his hand. When Whiskey doesn’t move away, Jared strokes his hand up and down the horse's muzzle, laughing softly as he feels a huff of warm breath against his skin. 

“Hey there,” Jared says softly, still stroking up and down Whiskey’s muzzle, “Nice to meet you, Whiskey.” 

Jensen can’t look away as Jared smooths his hands over the horse's face, gentle and confident at the same time. _He’s a natural_ , Jensen thinks bitterly.

\+ + +

As it turns out, Jared is more than a natural. He takes to the horses like ducks to water, as easy and comfortable as breathing.

It's mid morning, and they're almost done mucking out the last of the stalls. Jensen wipes the sweat from his brow and leans against his rake, studying Jared's tall frame as he bends to spread wood shavings evenly across the floor. 

“You worked on a ranch before, Jared?”

“When I was a kid,” Jared replies, turning to face Jensen, “my aunt had a ranch, and we'd spend every summer there, helpin' her out.” 

They lapse into comfortable silence as they work, and more than once Jensen's gaze wanders over to Jared –– the way his shoulders move under his flannel shirt, the barely-there bulge of Jared's arms as he moves the rake back and forth –– it's mesmerising somehow, and Jensen has to keep reminding himself that there's work to be done. 

Jared meets his gaze once they finish –– a triumphant smile on his face –– and Jensen can't help but return it. 

“We should check on the horses,” Jensen mumbles, running a hand over the back of his neck.

Jared nods and follows him outside.

The horses are penned into the far paddock, and it's a few minutes before they reach the gate –– Jensen spends that time trying not to stare at Jared too much –– but once they get there, Jared is too distracted by the horses to notice. 

The breeze tickles Jensen's face as he watches Jared watching the horses, and for the first time since his accident, Jensen feels wholly and completely at peace. He's never really been a spiritual man, there's been too much hardship for that kind of faith, but as he relaxes in the easy comfort of Jared's presence he takes in a deep breath and thinks, _Thanks, you know, for Jared_ , before releasing it.

\+ + +

That night, crowded around the wooden table in the kitchen, Jared helps himself to steak, potatoes, and some of the best company he's had in a long, long time.

Alan has an arm around his wife and nothing but love in his eyes as he watches her talk animatedly about her latest cooking conquest –– the best apple pie this side of Burnet, Donna says –– and Mackenzie has both her elbows resting on the table as she listens, smiling around a mouthful of baked potato. Josh is leaning in close to Jensen, whispering something that Jared can't hear, but it twists Jensen's mouth into an infectious smile that makes Jared's heart beat painfully in his chest. 

Jensen meets his eyes then, something unreadable in his expression, and Jared can't help but think, _don't ruin this, they're happy, leave it be_ , as he lowers his head, away from Jensen's heated gaze. 

Jared's got a secret, one that could tear their family apart, but the thing is, he never planned on feeling like a _member_ of their family. He never expected that kind of warmth, that kind of acceptance, and the idea of shattering that trust settles uneasily in the pit of his stomach. 

Thunder rumbles overhead, and the scrape of knives and forks stops as they all listen to the growing storm. Alan gives Jensen a knowing look, presses a kiss to Donna's cheek and leaves the table. Jensen, Josh and Mac get up too, and Jared follows, offering Donna an apologetic look.

“Happens all the time, love,” she says, offering Jared a small smile.

Following Jensen out the front door, Jared heads for the stables, feeling the wind whip around his face as the first rain drops start to fall. By the time they reach the stables, Jared can already hear the sounds the horses are making –– panicked, frightened sounds that make his pulse speed up –– and he follows Jensen inside, lengthening his strides.

Most of the horses are coping well, just pacing in their stalls or shaking their heads, but a couple are rearing up, trying to get out of their stalls and escape the noise. Jared heads towards a chestnut mare who's making awful, scared noises –– she's frightened, Jared knows she is –– so he approaches her slowly, speaking softly to calm her.

“Hey girl, shhhh, easy now,” he says, and she looks at him, eyes wide and terrified. He manages to slide the door to her stall open, and once inside, he keeps himself well within her line of sight, still speaking in soft, hushed tones.

“Easy girl,” he says, and she calms a little, still shaking her head from side to side. 

Jared gets a hand on her shoulder, smoothing it across her chest and flank, back and forth in a gentle sweep. It calms her instantly, and Jared repeats the motion, still speaking softly to her as he strokes back and forth, back and forth, until he hears her breathing settle down. 

Jensen appears a second later, peering around the horse's body to lock eyes with Jared. 

“You okay here?” he says, and Jared nods, still smoothing his hand over the horse's coat. 

Jensen's still watching him a moment later, and there's something in his expression that brings heat to Jared's face. Jensen's watching him with an open curiosity, something undefinable in his expression, and Jared swallows against the sudden surge of want that builds up inside him. 

Still stroking his hand over the horse's smooth flank, Jared says, “Easy girl, that's it,” still hyperaware of Jensen's presence. Jared doesn't know how long they stay like that –– eyes locked, breath coming fast and shallow –– but soon the rain starts to soften, before stopping altogether. 

Jared's closing the gate to the mare's stall when he feels Jensen's warmth behind him, that intoxicating, all-spice scent of him pressed up close as he reaches past Jared and slides the bolt into the lock. For a moment Jared does nothing, just feels the steady rise and fall of Jensen's breath against his back, the solid weight of him. It's been so long since his last time. _Too long_ , Jared thinks.

He spins in Jensen's arms, manoeuvering them until Jensen's pinned against the gate and Jared can look into those eyes, dark with heat and _want_ , but just as he leans in, someone calls Jensen's name.

“Jensen? Jared? You in there? Mom's gettin' dessert ready.” 

Mackenzie's voice carries across the stables, and Jared pulls away from Jensen –– lightning fast and panicked –– before he realises that she isn't coming in to look for them. Willing his heartbeat to slow, Jared ignores the throbbing of his cock and avoids Jensen's gaze. 

After a few moments, Jensen clears his throat, dragging a hand over the back of his neck and says, “We better –– ”

“Yeah,” Jared says hoarsely, and follows him back to the house without another word.

\+ + +

A week later, Jared and Jensen are washing and brushing the horses in one of the far paddocks. The sun is high in the sky, drenching them both in afternoon sunlight, and Josh is in the paddock next to theirs, busy working a horse in steady, sweeping circles.

Jared squints against the sun, tilting his hat down against the light as he runs a brush over Whiskey's coat in steady, smooth motions. Whiskey's tail flicks playfully as he works, and Jared smiles, giving him a steady pat on the flank as he continues.

It's been easy, this past week with Jensen. Jared's always prided himself on being a laid back guy, someone that's easy to get along with, but where Jensen is concerned, things are different. Sure, they get along great –– nothing to worry about there –– but their almost kiss in the stable still hangs in the air between them. It's an unanswered question, and during his daily duties, Jared's mind often wanders back to that moment in search of an answer: if Mac hadn't interrupted them, would things be different?

A wet sponge hits the side of his head, and Jared splutters, shaking water from his ear. Jensen ducks behind a large black stallion just as Jared fires the sponge back, and it sails harmlessly over Jensen's head. 

The ensuing water fight leaves Jared and Jensen panting, soaked and on top of each other. Josh is still in the nearby paddock, and he could look around at any moment and catch them in the act, but neither of them moves. 

Jensen squirms in Jared’s hold, but not to get away. Jared hisses as he feels Jensen roll his hips against his stomach, a slow lazy drag that makes Jared’s breath catch in his throat. He leans down, pinning Jensen with his hips as he nips at the soft skin below Jensen’s ear.

“F-fuck,” Jensen pants, and it’s enough for Jared to snap out of it. 

Rolling off of Jensen, Jared lies splayed in the tall grass and wills the tightness in his jeans to disappear. Jensen is still beside him, his breathing just as rough, and for a moment, they don’t say anything. 

Jensen is the first to get up. His figure blocks Jared’s view of the sun, drenching him in shadow as he reaches out to Jared with his right hand. Jared almost doesn’t take it, but then Jensen’s face, half shadowed by the sunlight, is suddenly serious and Jared can’t seem to refuse him. 

Accepting Jensen’s hand, Jared hauls himself to his feet and dusts himself off, avoiding Jensen’s eyes. 

They spend the rest of the afternoon in tense silence, and for the first time since Jared arrived, Jensen wants him gone –– if only to rid him of temptation.

\+ + +

A couple of days later, as Jared checks Whiskey for ticks and burrs, Jensen takes matters into his own hands.

“Wanna come for a ride?” 

It sounds fairly harmless to Jared –– hell, they go for rides all the time –– but there’s something different this time, Jared’s sure of it. He’s even more convinced when Jensen can’t meet his eyes as he says it, too ashamed of the blush that creeps across his neck and cheeks. 

“Yeah,” Jared says, “I’d love to,” and it’s as simple as that.

They head off after lunch, making sure the horses are secure in their paddock and that the stables are clean. 

The air feels warm as they make their way across the acreage. Jared’s never really explored the property –– hasn’t really had the time –– but as he watches Jensen, a weight he didn’t know he carried starts lifting from his shoulders. 

They arrive at a stream about twenty minutes later, and as they dismount, Jared watches the way Jensen favours his right hand. Jensen cradles it against his chest, and for the first time, Jared feels a stab of pity go through him. It’s not what Jensen wants, which means it’s not what Jared wants either, but for some reason, the feeling won’t budge. 

Jared realises with a guilty pang that he’s never asked Jensen what happened to his hand. 

Settling down beside the stream, Jared links one foot over the other and adjusts his hat. Jensen does the same. 

“Let me know if I’m outta line or anythin’,” Jared says suddenly, “but, how’d you hurt your hand?”

Immediately, Jensen tenses beside him and Jared wishes he could take the words back. He’s just about to apologise when Jensen answers, his voice rough and soft at the same time.

“I was in the Air Force,” Jensen says, “My –– my plane came under fire and when it crashed, my hand was pinned under the rubble.” He swallows painfully and Jared feels a surge of protectiveness swell up inside him, like he wants revenge on whoever caused Jensen so much pain.

“Dupuytren’s,” Jensen continues, “it formed after my hand healed, that’s why my fingers won’t straighten –– the bone’s are shot to hell. I can’t feel anythin’ in those fingers, and only a tingle in my thumb and pointer.”

Jared nods quietly. “Can I?” he says, reaching for Jensen’s injured hand.

For a moment it looks like Jensen will say no –– his brow furrows and his jaw tightens –– but as he places his hand in Jared’s, it becomes obvious that Jensen’s _ashamed_ , not angry. Smoothing his thumb over Jensen’s palm, Jared gently curls Jensen fingers into a fist, curling his own hand over the top. 

The soft kiss Jared places on his knuckles barely registers on Jensen’s two good fingers, but he could swear that he feels a tingle in his other ones too.

\+ + +

Dinner that night is one of Donna’s specialties –– roast turkey with all the trimmings.

Josh makes an appreciative noise as he enters the kitchen, stopping only to give his Momma a kiss on the cheek, and Mac sits in a nearby lounge chair, a dusty old harlequin novel on her lap and a secret smile on her face. 

Jared smiles at Donna as they take their seats, and she smiles back, her face pink from the heat in the kitchen. Jensen takes a seat beside Jared, offering him a boyish grin as Donna starts heaping their plates with roast potatoes and pumpkin. As Alan starts carving the turkey, Jared feels guilt clawing at his insides –– they deserve to know why he’s here. It’ll hurt them, there’s no doubt about that, but after everything they’ve done for him, they deserve the truth. 

His guilt must show on his face, because halfway through dinner, Jensen drops his left hand into Jared’s lap, and Jared doesn’t even hesitate before he curls the digits around his own. 

Towards the end of dinner, Josh announces that he’s sure Jensen’s possessed.

“Almost a week and a half now, and still no brooding,” he says, throwing a cheeky glance at Jensen. 

Swallowing a retort, Jensen rolls his eyes at his older brother. As tactless as Josh might be, though, essentially he’s right. Jensen _is_ happy, and a large part of that has to do with Jared. 

“He’s right, Momma,” Mac says, “I haven’t seen him this happy since before the –– ”

“Too right,” Alan adds hastily, “our Jensen’s a new man.”

Later that night, as Jared and Jensen muck out the stables, the guilt finally becomes too much for Jared to bear. 

“Listen, Jensen, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Leaning his rake against the wall, Jensen turns to face Jared. “So, tell me. You’re no good when you’re thinkin’ them deep thoughts.”

“Jen, I’m serious, you’re not gonna like this.”

Jared chews on the words –– how best to break the news, because it is bad news after all –– but before he can decide, Jensen is striding towards him and sealing his mouth against Jared’s.

He pulls back after a second, when Jared doesn’t respond, but Jared slings an arm around Jensen’s waist, holding him there before he plunders Jensen’s mouth again. The kiss is messy and dirty and so goddamn _perfect_ that Jared forgets everything that isn’t _Jensen_ –– his mouth, the feel of his stubble against his lips, his smell –– Jared’s world narrows down to the lazy slide of Jensen’s tongue –– hot, wet and demanding. 

They break apart after a few seconds, and Jared’s too distracted by Jensen’s reddened lips to form words. Instead, he leans in again and presses his lips against Jensen’s throat, a feather-light touch that makes Jensen shudder. 

“Want you so bad,” Jared says against the smooth skin of Jensen’s throat, and Jensen _keens_ , breathy and gorgeous as Jared licks and nips at his neck. 

“ _Fuck,_ ” Jensen says, “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that?”

“About as long as I have,” Jared mouths into Jensen’s skin. 

As they draw apart, all of Jared’s guilt comes flooding back. In the absence of Jensen’s warmth, Jared feels cold and dirty and inescapably guilty. He knows now isn’t the time, not when he’s finally figured out how much he wants this, how much he wants Jensen, but somehow the words are tumbling out of his mouth before he can stop himself. 

“Jen, I can’t –– I can’t do this to you. You –– you shouldn’t be –– I’m not –– I gotta go,” Jared stutters.

Jensen watches him leave, and doesn’t make a move to follow.

\+ + +

About ten minutes later, Jensen’s speeding up the dusty road that leads into town.

“You’re an idiot,” he says to himself, urging the truck to go faster as he stomps on the gas. 

He shouldn’t have let Jared go. Whatever it was that Jared had to tell him, it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. Fuck, Jared was the best thing in his life, the only thing that really _meant_ something and Jensen just let him _go_. 

After two hours of driving and still no sign of Jared, Jensen slumps in his seat and turns the truck around, headed back home. 

That night Jensen falls asleep with the sense memory of Jared’s lips pressed against his own.

\+ + +

It’s four days before Jensen sees Jared again.

His truck is rolling up the path towards the house, and even before Jared’s killed the engine, Jensen’s bounding down the porch steps and fisting his hands in Jared’s shirt, hauling him out of the drivers’ seat.

“Where the _hell_ have you been?” Jensen snarls.

“Jen, let me explain, I need to –– ”

Jensen silences him with a punishing kiss, shoving him against the truck and grabbing a fistful of Jared’s hair. Jared’s hyperaware of the family’s presence –– they’re going to come outside any minute now –– but he kisses Jensen back, puts everything he feels for Jensen into it. 

“Missed you,” Jensen says against Jared’s lips. 

Before Jared can say, ‘Me too, I missed you too,’ Jensen is steering him into the stables and pinning him against the wall. 

“Mmph!” Jared says, as Jensen’s hand fumbles with Jared’s belt. 

“Let me, let me,” Jared pants against Jensen’s mouth, undoing the clasp and groaning as Jensen palms his cock through his underwear. His hands are needy and frantic as they clutch at Jensen’s hair, gripping and releasing as he angles Jensen’s mouth where he wants it.

“Such a fuckin’ tease,” Jensen slurs against Jared’s skin, “wanted you for _weeks_ , Jay.”

“Me too,” Jared manages, in between hungry, desperate kisses, “Fuck, Jen –– your _mouth_.”

Jensen whines, high pitched and needy as Jared sucks a hickey onto his neck with vicious intent, before swiping his tongue over the spot. 

“Jensen? Jared?”

Jensen and Jared freeze. It's Josh, probably coming to check if the stalls are mucked out to his satisfaction. They can hear him moving closer, and with a flare of panic, Jensen knows that any minute now Josh could open the gate to the stall they're in and find them. 

Jared's face is still pressed against his neck, and Jensen butts into the touch, desperate for contact, even though he knows he shouldn't –– not with Josh so near. Jared drags his teeth across freckled skin before swiping his lower lip across the spot –– wet drag of saliva against Jensen's skin –– and Jensen stifles a moan that rises up in his throat. 

Josh is on the other side of the stables, checking on the horses, and seems to have interpreted the silence as confirmation that Jared and Jensen aren't around. 

Jensen takes this moment to slide his hand under Jared’s waistband and draw his cock out, stroking up and down the silky flesh in long, smooth motions. Jared bites into Jensen’s neck to stop himself from crying out, and Jensen just strokes harder, the fucker.

Jared is bucking into Jensen’s grip, fucking his cock into Jensen’s fist and it’s wrong and sick because Josh is _right there_.

“Jen, _fuck_ , he’ll see us,” Jared manages, cock still sliding wetly into Jensen’s fist. 

“Don’t care,” Jensen whispers, “ _need you_.”

Jared stifles another groan as Jensen spreads precome over the head, thumb sliding over the slit and Jared is going to fucking _lose it_.

“C’mon Jen, you too,” Jared says, fumbling for Jensen’s fly, “you too.”

Finally, _finally_ Jared frees Jensen’s cock. It bobs up against Jensen’s stomach, and Jared itches to take it in his hand, wring out the pleasure until Jensen’s begging for it.

Instead, Jared lifts the shirt off Jensen’s shoulders, sucking kisses onto Jensen’s collarbone as Jensen ruts against him, wet drag of his cock against Jared’s stomach. 

Jared’s shirt gets discarded too, and joins Jensen’s on the floor a moment later. Chest to chest now, skin to skin, Jensen licks a trail from Jared’s left nipple to his collarbone, then up to the soft spot below Jared’s ear. 

They’re rutting against each other now, desperate, frantic movements that feel _amazing_. Jensen sucks on Jared’s tongue, swallowing the moans that Jared makes and suddenly he’s coming, grinding hard against Jared’s hipbone. Jared follows a second later, burying his teeth in Jensen’s shoulder to stifle the moan that tears up from his throat. 

Panting and sated, Jensen feels his cock twitch feebly as Jared comes, sticky and hot between them. 

All thoughts of Josh are miles away as Jared holds Jensen against him while their breathing slows. _It’s now or never,_ Jared thinks.

“Jen, there’s something you need to know.”

Jensen tightens in his arms, but doesn’t speak. 

“Josh, your brother? He –– he hit my sister with his truck. She’s fine,” Jared adds, as Jensen’s eyes widen, “but, I wanted you to know –– that’s –– that’s why I came here. I had to meet the guy who hurt my sister.”

Jensen draws away from Jared, eyes downcast, and Jared aches at the loss of contact.

“Jen, please, I didn’t –– it doesn’t matter now, okay? I just wanted to be honest with you. I always want to be honest with you.”

“And what about us?” Jensen shoots back, “was that real? Was any of it real?”

“Everything I said, everything we did was real, Jensen. I –– ”

“Don’t,” Jensen says, “just don’t, Jared.”

“ _Please_ Jen, you have to trust me.”

“Well that’s just it,” Jensen snarls, “maybe I don’t anymore.”

\+ + +

As he makes his way to the house, Jensen’s mind is a blur of confusion and anger.

He finds Josh sitting at the kitchen table and before he can control himself, Jensen finds himself seething with anger.

“It was you,” he snarls, “you had the accident and blamed it on me.”

“What?” Josh’s eyes widen as he takes in the anger on Jensen’s face. “What are you –– ’

“Don’t lie to me, Josh. I _know_ you did it. You hit someone, for God’s sake! How could you not tell me? Or Dad, doesn’t Dad have the right to know? Couldn’t bear to let your precious reputation be tainted, so you pinned it all on me, didn't you? Hell, why not add it to the list of reasons why you’re the better son.”

“Who told you that I hit someone?” Josh says, defensively.

“That doesn’t matter. The point is, you lied to me. To all of us. I took the fall for you because you told me that no-one was hurt. You told me you ran into a fence, Josh!”

“I never asked you to cover for me!” 

At that moment, Donna and Alan enter the kitchen, eyes wide and panicked at the sound of raised voices.

“What’s going on here, boys?” 

“Dad, Josh has something he needs to tell you.” Jensen says, eyes still trained on Josh’s face.

\+ + +

Jared doesn’t head inside. Instead, he waits on the porch –– the place where he first saw Jensen –– and listens to raised voices. It’s his fault; he never should have said anything. He’s to blame for the argument they’re having, and he isn’t even man enough to go inside and apologise. Pacing back and forth, Jared doesn’t notice the front door as it swings open and Jensen slips outside.

“You heard all that?” Jensen says.

“Uh –– yeah, sorry. I was going to come in and apologise, I mean, it’s my fault you’re –– ”

With three quick strides, Jensen crowds into Jared’s space and presses a kiss to his lips.

“I don’t care,” Jensen says, drawing Jared tighter against him, and Jared could cry with relief. “I don’t care what happened –– it brought you to me.”

Nuzzling Jensen’s face, Jared feels the prick of tears in the corners of his eyes. He lets them fall and leans in to kiss Jensen again, tasting salt and Jensen and the beginnings of hope.

“You’re it for me,” Jensen says against Jared’s lips. 

Jared smiles even wider as he kisses Jensen again, long and slow and lazy –– like they have all the time in the world. And maybe, Jared thinks, they do.

_fin._


End file.
